Wednesday, 18 January 2012


Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Dancing With the DJ

In the newest installment of my effort to bring you songs for summer comes 'Dancing With the DJ'; A sprightly number by B-Roc and JPatt aka The Knocks. Some may recognize them as being responsible for last summer's hit 'Blackout' which is linked below for everyone else's perusal. Also linked and deserving of a spot on your playlist is a hype joint by Poolside.
Check 'em out!

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Bitches Ain't Shit

This week's anthropological case study comes to us courtesy of Illmaster Mathematics contributor and resident black people expert Johnny Stallion who synopsizes the video below:

We follow presumably chavinistic rapper YG and his compatriots Tyga and Nipsey Hussle around the Crenshaw district of Los Angeles where a block party is in full swing. As they crawl through the streets in their brightly painted lowriders, they assert their statuses by shouting disparaging remarks at passing women. The aspiring socialites don't really mind though, and so the rappers continue their tour of the neighbourhood, stopping from time-to-time to mingle with the partygoers. Finally, with the po' hovering ominously overhead, the festivities are suspended for the night.


I've been a Justice fan since the early days. I've been to every show and every set that's come around my parts.. And I must have seen their mini-doc 'A Cross the Universe' a dozen times. After what feels like years but has really been only 4, The French duo of Gaspard Augé and Xavier de Rosnay are finally preparing to release a follow-up to their stellar debut album. Only one single has been released so far, but this banger was featured in an Adidas commercial with more than a handful of high profile cameos. It's definitely one of the better ads I've seen in a while- with high production values for captivating visuals and obviously a killer soundtrack. Check it out below:

Monday, 16 May 2011

Essay #1

Well ladies and gentlemen, we have our first submission! This one comes to us from Betty Masno who writes:

Read the letter after the break

The Cheap Bastard Writing Challenge!


I'm selling some Beats by Dr. Dre Studio headphones on Craigslist. I came into a few pairs which I got a pretty great deal on by buying online, and so I figured I'd price them low to undercut the other sellers and make a fast profit. Other guys are asking $2-300 for terrible fakes, and so I got a lot of replies very quickly. I was overwhelmed, though, by the number of people that wanted a further discount on these sweet cans. I got offers anywhere from $60-$100 as if I didn't know what other people were selling them for. At first I had a little fun just telling them where to go and making fun of them, but then I had a much better idea. I started sending out the form reply below:

"Due to the large number of requests I get for discounts I am repling with this challenge. The price I have set for these headphones is $150. At Best Buy they retail for $349.99 + HST for a total of $396. For ease I will round this figure up to $400. The challenge I issue is this: Write me a 1000 word essay on why you feel you deserve a discount beyond the 62.5% which I am offering. Most convincing argument gets these headphones at cost (the price I pay), and will have them delivered as so many of you request as well.

Yes, I'm completely serious and happy writing you cheap fucking bastards."

I'll be posting any essays I receive here and I look forward to deciding on the winner together.

Saturday, 14 May 2011


For those of you unaware, At&t is attempting to purchase T-Mobile for $39 billion. Arguments abound for and against, but the consequences of either outcome are mostly the same.

Obviously, as a Canadian citizen I can not speak to the state of the American market specifically, but I am still painfully aware of the negative impact a telecommunications oligopoly and inept conservative government can have on consumers. Every day- data, phone and text services become more integral to how we live our lives, and for that reason I am not against government intervention in the market. Here we have the CRTC, which to keep a long story short, does exactly the opposite of what a regulatory board should. They're a bunch of ass-backwards lobbyist shitheads who push offendingly anti-consumer policies into law on behalf of the companies with which they were previously employed. Canadians have had to deal with data caps on home broadband connections as low as 2GB for years now. The success of this merger and getting screwed by your provider do not preclude each other, and for that reason the argument either way is mostly inconsequential. Until there are significant changes in the way these services are governed, the big 3 (perhaps big two by then) will continue to have their way with consumers.

P.S. Even their fucking office looks evil